The Potato, a simple humble and yet delicious fruit that has its origins in what is now know as Ireland. But like all things it's true origins are more myth than reality.
It all started in 1702 with the french colonial Ronald McDonald, McDonald was well know in France for being an incredible cook of the highest quality. From the edges of the world hungry patrons would come just to eat his fine food, only to die later of re-feeding syndrome. McDonald wanting to create the grandest dish the world would ever know, one that could survive in the worst environment so that every single person on the Earth could enjoy his delicacy. He found a small island to the west of Britain, the brits call it "West Britain". Of course the brits would have no french men getting closer to them so they told McDonald to fuck off and let them enjoy their queer tea. McDonald in a fit of rage came up the a twist to his new dish.
McDonald's new plan was to create a human/fix plant that would grow its self and fight off the faggaty fag english. His new plant was to be call the Pot-o-people. Overnight McDonald's creation cover the entire island of West Britain. The Queen was outrage and demand that McDonald remove the new creation from their island. McDonald did the french thing and the brits did the british thing, it's a European thing. Eventually McDonald ended up like all french men, chocking on a cock in an all men pride orgy, European thing. McDonald's death brought many things and toke any things like keeping the Pot-o-people under control and preventing them from bring destruction to the world.
The brits feeling like their gay old selves decided to retake their West Britain only to be pushed of the island in a matter of hours. They cried like bitches. It was then that they introduced the Pot-o-people to alcohol and that's when things got out of control.
A division in the Pot-o-people began to grow. There were those that believe that they should dedicate them selves to delivering the best food like McDonald intended. This group started calling them selves the Potatoes, they were small brown or reddish color often quite chubby and delicious. On the other side where the drinkers believing that the alcohol was a gift from the long dead McDonald. They were a hideous pale color, they where so pale that even before birth they where all ready sunburn. Cover in red patches and the reddest hair they called themselves the Irony but in their drunkenness the gingers, called them selves "irish".
For months the most brutal war in Europe raged over who should go on to control the world, it's a European thing. No side mad any advance. Until one day the brits got involved with a book on how to mass cock and eat vast numbers. This was the most brutal part of the war The Potato Famine. Millions of potatoes where being eating daily by the brits, they more than happy to be eating but at the same time the gingers were taking over more and more territory every day. The potatoes wouldn't have any of that ginger stuff, the gingers just brutally killed the potatoes and then left them to no be cook and be eating like McDonald intended. The war showed no signs of stopping.
Then all of a sudden the war came to complete stop. The MOTHER FUCKING UNITE STATES OF AMERICA came and ended the war taking with them the potatoes to AMERICA to be raised the most life barren of all states Idaho. The gingers were promptly exiled to their shitty island never to leave.
Funny enough the the brits never gave a name to one of the most famous dishes of potatoes, Americans called them French fries it pissed of the brits, it's a European thing and AMERICA liked to piss of the Europeans.
