Showing posts with label my story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my story. Show all posts
Sunday, June 2, 2013
White Knight preview
I finished up the breakfast with a nice cold glass of water. I walked out and it was getting dark so I decided to sleep inside the house. The german farm body was still in the barn. I knew I could just leave him there like that for his family to find. I dragged his body into the kitchen I was able to find a butchers knife. I cut up his body into pieces. I threw the legs and torso into the fire place and lite it. I had a special plan for the head and arms. I toke a rope and tied it to the ceiling of the house. I grabbed some nails and a hammer and I stuck a nail throw his left hand and into his head. I did the same thing for his right hand. His right hand was on left side. I calmly fell asleep. All in all that day could of ended really bad for me.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
The Mask Beginings
So there I was sitting running miles in the middle of some forest in the middle of nowhere. Gunfire could be hear in the distance. The sound of thundering artillery in beyond the horizon. The constant sweating and the fear for my very own life was unbearable. Running and running, nothing but running, sometime I would get yelled at. I was in the MOTHER FUCKING ARMY OF THE MOTHER FUCKING UNITED STATE, almost, kind of. I was in boot camp. Dammit I was ready to go after Adolf, I started to make plans, I knew some people that knew some people in rather high places and I started putting resource in place. But no, the American government wanted nothing to do with a war over in europe.
I owed Adolf some money and I didn't want to pay him. Adolf now had control of an entire country and I was running laps around trees barely making any money. I was running to nowhere fast. Word for the higher ups was that we had to sit back and let europe be europe. That part I was just fine but Adolf and with his one ball (I had no idea he had lost his other one and the fact that I owed him money) I just could not stand the idea...of such a nice guy like him running anything, much less running it with no problems. Something had to be done, something that would get american into the ass kicking business. So that is when I made my ingenious plan, I went AWOL, like a boss. I tried at least. A walked up the drill sergeant, he was darker than the darkest thing I could imagine. The darkness in his eyes was more that enough to make you want to ran, or shit your pants.."DRILL SARGENT, I LIKE MEN" my ingenious plan was on it's way. "YOU LIKE MEN?" said the drill sergeant in a laughing manner. "YES SIR, I LIKE MEN, can I go home now?" I almost peed my pants. The sergeant looked at me with his black eyes, at me eyes then down to my feet then at me crotch area then back to me eyes then back to me crotch and finally back to my eyes. "LET ME EXPLAIN THE CHAIN OF COMMAND TO YOU MAGGOT, THERE'S YOU THERE'S THE DIRT, THE WORMS, MY SHIT, THE PRESIDENT, GOD AND THEN THERE'S ME". I responded with "sarge...I don't think it works the way you think it works". "DAMMIT MAGGOT YOU DON'T GET PAYED TO THINK". "...i...still like...men...can i go home? i don't like the army any more" " LISTEN UP MAGGOT, I DON'T PARTICULAR CARE FOR YOUR SEXUAL PREFERENCES YOU ARE GOING TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT AND KEEP ON RUNNING UNTIL I GET TIRED OF YOU RUNNING". I did the next best thing that came to my mind, I ran. I ran away from the sarge and boot camp.
A month later I found my self in the middle of a germany city, where Adolf was holding a parade in honor of the german people. Everyone was celebrating, people where giving each other free food, helping each other. It was paradise, free food, but then I remembered Adolf. I was there on a mission, so none of fun stuff that was going to last while Adolf was alive. I started up asking for money, a particular group called the "Jews" a wealthy collection of the most successful businessmen in the country was more than some what willing to help. I kept them in the dark about my actions but I promised them a rich return on their investment. My plan was simple the jews owned most the wealth business in germany and they where trust by all the germany people. That meant unlimited cash...for me, no questions asked by anyone besides my investors. But getting the jews into helping me was not easy. Using my vastly superior mind I showed that it was possible to create gold from lead, they bought it and gave what ever money I need.
My plan was simple use the jew money to launch a massive smear campaign against Adolf. Then a massive attack the would end with a dead Adolf and with me keeping my money. Things went good for a few days, I was busting out poster slamming Adolf policies. But things soon went horribly wrong. My work created riots in germany, they where protesting me. Things went downhill rather quickly after that. And I meant fast. The jews wanted to make sure I was not fucking them over, they demand an advance payment on their gold. I only had some uranium. I was fucked. The jews then proceed to blackmail me, either I deliver on the gold or they tell Adolf. So I figure I tell Adolf... on them and let him take care of them while I toke care of him.
Adolf, no longer trusting the jews or other business of any king, order that all gold have their gold taken and kept in a safe place to keep who ever was receiving it from receiving it. It didn't work I already had all their gold. Nothing would stop me. I could get away with anything and the jews would get blamed, all the while I would bring Adolf to his knees. I started killing Adolf closets friends one by one. It slowly drove Adolf into depression.
My actions didn't go unnoticed, Adolf circle started to become weary of me and assign a special task force to bring me in. This task force became know as the 117th Special Fatherland Defense force other wise knows as the Special Services or the S.S. for short. Their sole purpose was to bring me and what ever allies I had to deaths warm hands. I became know to them as the code name "The Mask".
Members of his government became increasingly scared of me. Their deaths where only a matter of time...but S.S. got their shit together and started to planing my doom. The S.S. slowly started finding my stashed of gold. Slowly I saw my money going away and I could do nothing . The S.S. was hard on my ass, I couldn't do anything without one of them catching me.
With my money running low I had no option but to run to the neighboring country of austra(lia). I was sure that the local population would not care about what I did back in germany. For a few days I was able to get my shit together and began my escape. I stilled needed money and the austrian would provide that money and much more. especially drugs.
With my new life in Austria I was able to get a new source of money that other wise would of been impossible back in germany. I was able to buy a moderate size printing business that had a sizable amount of readers. Newspaper after newspaper carried by views of Adolf. "Adolf once punched a dog" with a picture of him punching a puppy. The responds to that one, was huge people called him the devil on Earth. My work continued with out stopping, an endless supply of drugs. People angry at Adolf. Adolf thousands of miles away was helpless to do anything while I could get away whit anything. Nothing short of the wrath of Thor could stop me and I knew Thor was busy that whole Astria Porta thing. I was untouchable I could say what I wanted and this idiots would eat it up and they wanted more of it.
I started forming a secret army with the intent to hanging Adolf. I used my newspaper connections to send coded messages to my followers informing them of where and when as well as what to do when they go there. Our first meeting was held in an art museum, Adolf couldn't even draw a crocked line. I found that fact funny as hell. We disused ways of disrupting Germanys growth and humiliating Adolf in what ever way we could. Many laughs where had and so began of my master plan began to slow take shape.
A month into plan I got a letter from Adolf telling me that what ever I was planning I should stop it. No matter what I thought up he would be able to stop me in my tracks. I responded by sending him a perfectly drawn circle (I used a rose compass). I waited for his responds.
His responds was ...well...subtle.
He calmed walked his troops into austrai. Every one was stunned and nothing was done about it. Every one was confused, they have only had their uniforms on. Every person thought it was just a silly parade, a very long parade of germans in silly uniforms. A roar of cheers soon followed, their stupidity deserved some recognition. With in a matter of days their parade reached half way into the country. The cheers didn't die down. The parade was followed by tanks...thank the austrians. fucking idiots.
There I was in a city surrounded by the enemy with no way out. I had no choice but to put my secret army to some good use. I started ordering them to generally harass the germans, occasionally they would beat up and kill one of the germans. But even this wasn't enough to scare the germans away. Adolf was hell bent on capturing me, I wasn't going to let that happened.
Adolf order his army to make my capture the top priority lucky for me I already had a plan should Adolf ever tried to catch me. Adolf started offering a huge bounty for my head. A bounty so large that even my loyal followers started turning against me. With a decreasing number of followers I had to make rash decisions. I ordered my remaining followers to carry out attacks on the invading german army. The first attacked involved blowing up a railroad that was being used by the germans to transport their forces. Overall this attack went better than expected, we didn't only blow up the railroad we also blew up a car...with germans in it. By the end of the day news of our small attract reached Adolf. His following orders where to find me and have my head stuff and placed above his fire place.
Train load of the finest, best trained and healthiest german soldier where sent after me. Their training was something to wonder. They volunteered to server for their country with undying loyalty. For the few officers Adolf personally made sure that he personally gave them their commission. Even the every day soldier received a hand written letter from adolf himself telling them of their righteous life. No german soldier was left with out a thank you from Adolf. Their moral was at an all time high and was increasing with time and they had all the time. My secret army on the other had had to pay a monthly fee, it was worth it.
The little loyal followers I had done more damage than any could of imagine but ultimately they only sthreths Adolf resolve to capture me. Unfortunately my followers success wheren't up to par with my ridiculous high standards (they actually meet them I just didn't wanted to pay them), I had to put them down. I think this might have contributed to my need to flee from austrai.
I found myself being chase by an angry mob of austrians, former members of my secret army and some very determined german soldiers. I ran nonstop for what seem days (in was 2 minutes but regen...forget it). I ran and then hide. I knew I need to ended it before it got even more out of control, I had to kill adolf personally. There was just the problem of finding him, get throw his armies, the angry austrian mob and the fact that berlin was a hell of a walk away. First thing first I need to get away from the mob. I calmed walked out, accepting my possible fate. They saw me, I saw them. The tension was high one from move and I was done for. The angry mob got out their ropes ready to hang me but before I spoke "give me a second" I cleared my throat, "In this hour of my defeat, you taste victory. I ask, why? They, the germans, the so called guardians of all that righteous. The roots of their country have grown deep under their shady tending. Where there is the raccoon, the force of our countless soldiers have stomp the soil. Their strength is the blackest black hole, towards which all intelligence vanishes... And the impervious shelter beneath which it has prospered. I stand before you, accused of the sin of ensuring the death of Adolf. Of attempting to save you from this fate where you are forced to... live under Adolf. Adolf stands as the greatest threat in the continent. Refusing to hang the bastard is a fool's gambit. You squander years in the depression, while he seize my triumphs for his own. The right to do what ever to all things belongs to Me alone. Think of my acts as you will. But do not doubt the reality: the War... has already begun. And you are hopeless to stop it"..."there's no way you thought of that by yourself" said a person in the mob. I looked at the mob, "HEY WHAT'S THAT OVER THERE?!?!". They all turned their heads in curiosity and I ran towards Berlin.
I waved my arms from 500 feet, they where still looking for something, so I walk. I walked towards Berlin and Adolf.
I owed Adolf some money and I didn't want to pay him. Adolf now had control of an entire country and I was running laps around trees barely making any money. I was running to nowhere fast. Word for the higher ups was that we had to sit back and let europe be europe. That part I was just fine but Adolf and with his one ball (I had no idea he had lost his other one and the fact that I owed him money) I just could not stand the idea...of such a nice guy like him running anything, much less running it with no problems. Something had to be done, something that would get american into the ass kicking business. So that is when I made my ingenious plan, I went AWOL, like a boss. I tried at least. A walked up the drill sergeant, he was darker than the darkest thing I could imagine. The darkness in his eyes was more that enough to make you want to ran, or shit your pants.."DRILL SARGENT, I LIKE MEN" my ingenious plan was on it's way. "YOU LIKE MEN?" said the drill sergeant in a laughing manner. "YES SIR, I LIKE MEN, can I go home now?" I almost peed my pants. The sergeant looked at me with his black eyes, at me eyes then down to my feet then at me crotch area then back to me eyes then back to me crotch and finally back to my eyes. "LET ME EXPLAIN THE CHAIN OF COMMAND TO YOU MAGGOT, THERE'S YOU THERE'S THE DIRT, THE WORMS, MY SHIT, THE PRESIDENT, GOD AND THEN THERE'S ME". I responded with "sarge...I don't think it works the way you think it works". "DAMMIT MAGGOT YOU DON'T GET PAYED TO THINK". "...i...still like...men...can i go home? i don't like the army any more" " LISTEN UP MAGGOT, I DON'T PARTICULAR CARE FOR YOUR SEXUAL PREFERENCES YOU ARE GOING TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT AND KEEP ON RUNNING UNTIL I GET TIRED OF YOU RUNNING". I did the next best thing that came to my mind, I ran. I ran away from the sarge and boot camp.
A month later I found my self in the middle of a germany city, where Adolf was holding a parade in honor of the german people. Everyone was celebrating, people where giving each other free food, helping each other. It was paradise, free food, but then I remembered Adolf. I was there on a mission, so none of fun stuff that was going to last while Adolf was alive. I started up asking for money, a particular group called the "Jews" a wealthy collection of the most successful businessmen in the country was more than some what willing to help. I kept them in the dark about my actions but I promised them a rich return on their investment. My plan was simple the jews owned most the wealth business in germany and they where trust by all the germany people. That meant unlimited cash...for me, no questions asked by anyone besides my investors. But getting the jews into helping me was not easy. Using my vastly superior mind I showed that it was possible to create gold from lead, they bought it and gave what ever money I need.
My plan was simple use the jew money to launch a massive smear campaign against Adolf. Then a massive attack the would end with a dead Adolf and with me keeping my money. Things went good for a few days, I was busting out poster slamming Adolf policies. But things soon went horribly wrong. My work created riots in germany, they where protesting me. Things went downhill rather quickly after that. And I meant fast. The jews wanted to make sure I was not fucking them over, they demand an advance payment on their gold. I only had some uranium. I was fucked. The jews then proceed to blackmail me, either I deliver on the gold or they tell Adolf. So I figure I tell Adolf... on them and let him take care of them while I toke care of him.
Adolf, no longer trusting the jews or other business of any king, order that all gold have their gold taken and kept in a safe place to keep who ever was receiving it from receiving it. It didn't work I already had all their gold. Nothing would stop me. I could get away with anything and the jews would get blamed, all the while I would bring Adolf to his knees. I started killing Adolf closets friends one by one. It slowly drove Adolf into depression.
My actions didn't go unnoticed, Adolf circle started to become weary of me and assign a special task force to bring me in. This task force became know as the 117th Special Fatherland Defense force other wise knows as the Special Services or the S.S. for short. Their sole purpose was to bring me and what ever allies I had to deaths warm hands. I became know to them as the code name "The Mask".
Members of his government became increasingly scared of me. Their deaths where only a matter of time...but S.S. got their shit together and started to planing my doom. The S.S. slowly started finding my stashed of gold. Slowly I saw my money going away and I could do nothing . The S.S. was hard on my ass, I couldn't do anything without one of them catching me.
With my money running low I had no option but to run to the neighboring country of austra(lia). I was sure that the local population would not care about what I did back in germany. For a few days I was able to get my shit together and began my escape. I stilled needed money and the austrian would provide that money and much more. especially drugs.
With my new life in Austria I was able to get a new source of money that other wise would of been impossible back in germany. I was able to buy a moderate size printing business that had a sizable amount of readers. Newspaper after newspaper carried by views of Adolf. "Adolf once punched a dog" with a picture of him punching a puppy. The responds to that one, was huge people called him the devil on Earth. My work continued with out stopping, an endless supply of drugs. People angry at Adolf. Adolf thousands of miles away was helpless to do anything while I could get away whit anything. Nothing short of the wrath of Thor could stop me and I knew Thor was busy that whole Astria Porta thing. I was untouchable I could say what I wanted and this idiots would eat it up and they wanted more of it.
I started forming a secret army with the intent to hanging Adolf. I used my newspaper connections to send coded messages to my followers informing them of where and when as well as what to do when they go there. Our first meeting was held in an art museum, Adolf couldn't even draw a crocked line. I found that fact funny as hell. We disused ways of disrupting Germanys growth and humiliating Adolf in what ever way we could. Many laughs where had and so began of my master plan began to slow take shape.
A month into plan I got a letter from Adolf telling me that what ever I was planning I should stop it. No matter what I thought up he would be able to stop me in my tracks. I responded by sending him a perfectly drawn circle (I used a rose compass). I waited for his responds.
His responds was ...well...subtle.
He calmed walked his troops into austrai. Every one was stunned and nothing was done about it. Every one was confused, they have only had their uniforms on. Every person thought it was just a silly parade, a very long parade of germans in silly uniforms. A roar of cheers soon followed, their stupidity deserved some recognition. With in a matter of days their parade reached half way into the country. The cheers didn't die down. The parade was followed by tanks...thank the austrians. fucking idiots.
There I was in a city surrounded by the enemy with no way out. I had no choice but to put my secret army to some good use. I started ordering them to generally harass the germans, occasionally they would beat up and kill one of the germans. But even this wasn't enough to scare the germans away. Adolf was hell bent on capturing me, I wasn't going to let that happened.
Adolf order his army to make my capture the top priority lucky for me I already had a plan should Adolf ever tried to catch me. Adolf started offering a huge bounty for my head. A bounty so large that even my loyal followers started turning against me. With a decreasing number of followers I had to make rash decisions. I ordered my remaining followers to carry out attacks on the invading german army. The first attacked involved blowing up a railroad that was being used by the germans to transport their forces. Overall this attack went better than expected, we didn't only blow up the railroad we also blew up a car...with germans in it. By the end of the day news of our small attract reached Adolf. His following orders where to find me and have my head stuff and placed above his fire place.
Train load of the finest, best trained and healthiest german soldier where sent after me. Their training was something to wonder. They volunteered to server for their country with undying loyalty. For the few officers Adolf personally made sure that he personally gave them their commission. Even the every day soldier received a hand written letter from adolf himself telling them of their righteous life. No german soldier was left with out a thank you from Adolf. Their moral was at an all time high and was increasing with time and they had all the time. My secret army on the other had had to pay a monthly fee, it was worth it.
The little loyal followers I had done more damage than any could of imagine but ultimately they only sthreths Adolf resolve to capture me. Unfortunately my followers success wheren't up to par with my ridiculous high standards (they actually meet them I just didn't wanted to pay them), I had to put them down. I think this might have contributed to my need to flee from austrai.
I found myself being chase by an angry mob of austrians, former members of my secret army and some very determined german soldiers. I ran nonstop for what seem days (in was 2 minutes but regen...forget it). I ran and then hide. I knew I need to ended it before it got even more out of control, I had to kill adolf personally. There was just the problem of finding him, get throw his armies, the angry austrian mob and the fact that berlin was a hell of a walk away. First thing first I need to get away from the mob. I calmed walked out, accepting my possible fate. They saw me, I saw them. The tension was high one from move and I was done for. The angry mob got out their ropes ready to hang me but before I spoke "give me a second" I cleared my throat, "In this hour of my defeat, you taste victory. I ask, why? They, the germans, the so called guardians of all that righteous. The roots of their country have grown deep under their shady tending. Where there is the raccoon, the force of our countless soldiers have stomp the soil. Their strength is the blackest black hole, towards which all intelligence vanishes... And the impervious shelter beneath which it has prospered. I stand before you, accused of the sin of ensuring the death of Adolf. Of attempting to save you from this fate where you are forced to... live under Adolf. Adolf stands as the greatest threat in the continent. Refusing to hang the bastard is a fool's gambit. You squander years in the depression, while he seize my triumphs for his own. The right to do what ever to all things belongs to Me alone. Think of my acts as you will. But do not doubt the reality: the War... has already begun. And you are hopeless to stop it"..."there's no way you thought of that by yourself" said a person in the mob. I looked at the mob, "HEY WHAT'S THAT OVER THERE?!?!". They all turned their heads in curiosity and I ran towards Berlin.
I waved my arms from 500 feet, they where still looking for something, so I walk. I walked towards Berlin and Adolf.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
The Story Of Hitlers Other Ball
There I was starving again after Amelie went and got herself blow up by Will. With no Where to turn to I knew I had just one choice, I need to get a job. But where would I, an expert mathematical person be able to get a job in this back ass retard world? Then I saw it my salvation a job opening at a library, an easy enough job for some one of my skill set.
After a numbers of months as a library I found myself in a comfort life, I had a room, a bed, some clothes and plenty of food. Time went by, I almost forgot the whole Amelia getting blow up by Will thing. I wonder if myself and will end up in the same place what then of the others? Where they alive? did they want to steal my stuff? my super awesome life? No, they would I had to make sure they where not alive.
After a few weeks of searching, if you can believe it or not I didn't get fired, I found an article detailing the last days of Karl Swarchild. Karl the other guy that worked with me on the Astria-Porta. He was dead. He was killed by Adolf Hitler in what can only be best descried as something unluckily.
Here is what went down.
Karl appeared out of a blinding light and fell into what was an empty field. He walk for sometime, he eventually came some blood. He thought of nothing maybe just some animal that became something elses lunch. Karl continued to walk and along his path he found more blood. As he walked more blood appeared, he didn't know what to make of it. He walked until he came to a person screaming for their life.
Adolf, who recently had just lost one of his balls to Michel in a fit rage, was know wondering helpless in a place that he had no idea of. stumbling he fell and screamed for helped.
Karl made his way over Adolfs bleeding body, HAHA, he laugh. Adolf cried asking for help. Karl stood his ground. MY BALL, screamed Adolf as his only remaining ball felt a loneliness that no other thing in the universe could feel. Adolf rolling in pain pleaded to Karl to help him, Adolf claimed he knew what went wrong with the Astria-Porta. Karl stood there looking at Adolf, this went on for some time.
Karl who had lost everything he knew decide, what ever I will help you Adolf. Karl then said a quick prayer in respect of Adolf's forgotten ball turned around and walked away. Adolf was left speechless.
Karl walked for some hours until he came upon to small city. People where gather along the streets. There was cheering, a party of sorts. "Maybe I can get some free food", though Karl. Looking around Karl saw train loads of young men boarding trains and leaving for something , "oh well, more food more me". All over the city Karl saw sign for free stuff, not only food but every you could ever imagine. Karl found a neat looking restaurant, feeling really hungry he order everything of the menu. "854.47 papiermark". Karl's only responds was "the sign it was free" to which the waitress responded by saying oh yes that's true. Karl was confused. "You look confused" said the waitress, "you can everything free is you simply sing up for the army". Karl how was new to this place saw all the cheering and all the happy soldiers, and put 1 plus one and figure that they had won have or at the very least they where about to win some war. "Okay where do I sign up?". "Oh just sign here" said the waitress. And before he knew it Karl was in a trench getting shot, shelled and occasionally gassed. "shit".
Months pass and the war that Karl was tricked into joining showed no signs of stopping. One day under a particular heavy assault from the opposing side, Karl finishing up his new refined theory of wormhole travel. "....and done, better put it somewhere safe where it wont be blow to pieces, but where?" at that moment a messenger arrived, " messenger, I need you to take this papers here to the nearest secure location, this are very important papers, if you don't mess up this up you will receive a promotion....private Eisten? is it, don't just stand there get a move on". That private looked familiar, oh well just a coincidence Karl thought to him self.
Hours in the offensive Karl side was taking a serious asskicking. Left and right, soldiers at his sides where dropping like flies. Death was only a matter of minutes. And the one thing Karl never expected was for Adolf to show up out of nowhere. "Mighty fine weather we are having" said Adolf now back in his good mood after recovering. "Shut up Adolf" said Karl "can't you see we the tommies are about to overrun us and you're here talking about the weather?". "I just thought it would make you feel better, did it?" "fuck you Adolf an you one ball". "It is nice that you remember" said Adolf. "REMEMBER THIS YOU PRICK" and just like that Karl blew Adolf remaining ball away whit his gun but at the exact moment that Adolf ball went away Karl was vaporized by an enemy shell.
Adolf was never the same, whether it was his ball being blow off or the fact that a person was just vaporized before his eyes...we will never know.
and back to me, glad that's over, I went out to lunch. In the restaurant that I was eating I heard a radio broadcast about some dude named Adolf. At the moment I thought of nothing I was hungry, then suddenly I realized how it was and that he was still alive. He need to die. "Waitress sign me up for the army". "what?" was her respond. "The thing where I get paid to kill germans", "...oh yes that thing it just down the down" she said, "one more thing can you make this to go?"
After a numbers of months as a library I found myself in a comfort life, I had a room, a bed, some clothes and plenty of food. Time went by, I almost forgot the whole Amelia getting blow up by Will thing. I wonder if myself and will end up in the same place what then of the others? Where they alive? did they want to steal my stuff? my super awesome life? No, they would I had to make sure they where not alive.
After a few weeks of searching, if you can believe it or not I didn't get fired, I found an article detailing the last days of Karl Swarchild. Karl the other guy that worked with me on the Astria-Porta. He was dead. He was killed by Adolf Hitler in what can only be best descried as something unluckily.
Here is what went down.
Karl appeared out of a blinding light and fell into what was an empty field. He walk for sometime, he eventually came some blood. He thought of nothing maybe just some animal that became something elses lunch. Karl continued to walk and along his path he found more blood. As he walked more blood appeared, he didn't know what to make of it. He walked until he came to a person screaming for their life.
Adolf, who recently had just lost one of his balls to Michel in a fit rage, was know wondering helpless in a place that he had no idea of. stumbling he fell and screamed for helped.
Karl made his way over Adolfs bleeding body, HAHA, he laugh. Adolf cried asking for help. Karl stood his ground. MY BALL, screamed Adolf as his only remaining ball felt a loneliness that no other thing in the universe could feel. Adolf rolling in pain pleaded to Karl to help him, Adolf claimed he knew what went wrong with the Astria-Porta. Karl stood there looking at Adolf, this went on for some time.
Karl who had lost everything he knew decide, what ever I will help you Adolf. Karl then said a quick prayer in respect of Adolf's forgotten ball turned around and walked away. Adolf was left speechless.
Karl walked for some hours until he came upon to small city. People where gather along the streets. There was cheering, a party of sorts. "Maybe I can get some free food", though Karl. Looking around Karl saw train loads of young men boarding trains and leaving for something , "oh well, more food more me". All over the city Karl saw sign for free stuff, not only food but every you could ever imagine. Karl found a neat looking restaurant, feeling really hungry he order everything of the menu. "854.47 papiermark". Karl's only responds was "the sign it was free" to which the waitress responded by saying oh yes that's true. Karl was confused. "You look confused" said the waitress, "you can everything free is you simply sing up for the army". Karl how was new to this place saw all the cheering and all the happy soldiers, and put 1 plus one and figure that they had won have or at the very least they where about to win some war. "Okay where do I sign up?". "Oh just sign here" said the waitress. And before he knew it Karl was in a trench getting shot, shelled and occasionally gassed. "shit".
Months pass and the war that Karl was tricked into joining showed no signs of stopping. One day under a particular heavy assault from the opposing side, Karl finishing up his new refined theory of wormhole travel. "....and done, better put it somewhere safe where it wont be blow to pieces, but where?" at that moment a messenger arrived, " messenger, I need you to take this papers here to the nearest secure location, this are very important papers, if you don't mess up this up you will receive a promotion....private Eisten? is it, don't just stand there get a move on". That private looked familiar, oh well just a coincidence Karl thought to him self.
Hours in the offensive Karl side was taking a serious asskicking. Left and right, soldiers at his sides where dropping like flies. Death was only a matter of minutes. And the one thing Karl never expected was for Adolf to show up out of nowhere. "Mighty fine weather we are having" said Adolf now back in his good mood after recovering. "Shut up Adolf" said Karl "can't you see we the tommies are about to overrun us and you're here talking about the weather?". "I just thought it would make you feel better, did it?" "fuck you Adolf an you one ball". "It is nice that you remember" said Adolf. "REMEMBER THIS YOU PRICK" and just like that Karl blew Adolf remaining ball away whit his gun but at the exact moment that Adolf ball went away Karl was vaporized by an enemy shell.
Adolf was never the same, whether it was his ball being blow off or the fact that a person was just vaporized before his eyes...we will never know.
and back to me, glad that's over, I went out to lunch. In the restaurant that I was eating I heard a radio broadcast about some dude named Adolf. At the moment I thought of nothing I was hungry, then suddenly I realized how it was and that he was still alive. He need to die. "Waitress sign me up for the army". "what?" was her respond. "The thing where I get paid to kill germans", "...oh yes that thing it just down the down" she said, "one more thing can you make this to go?"
Friday, August 24, 2012
I Am Black: Still A Better Love Story than Twilight: My Short love Story: Snakes and Planes
I woke up. I wasn't in the lab. I had no idea where I was must of been driking too much water. I got up and start to walk about asking which way to Beck University but all I got was weird looks. I must of drunk way to much water I was so fucking lost.
It was almost night I was dead tire, completely lost and no one seemed to know what I was talking about. I had no money and I was starving. I walked for hours realizing that I was absolutely no idea where I was. I blacked out.
I woke up in a bed. "Yes, back in my bed" I tough to myself but then I took a look around and realized that it wasn't my room. Eventually the owner came in throw the donor singing with her pet servants cleaning up. THE FUCK, I thought to myself. DON'T KILL ME, I said. I would never do that. My name is Giselle she responded. My name is ahh...my is nam...name I...I..I don't remember my name. That's find, are you hungry she asked. Yes, I am I haven't etaten in who know how long.
We walked towards a restaurant down the street. There's was a homeless men sitting on the sidewalk "SPARE CHANGE MOTHER FUCKER DO YOU HAVE IT". Why yes said Giselle, the homeless men then looked at me, I just woke up from a coma I said. I felt a familiar yet painful sensation. I was on the ground knocked out cool.
I woke up, looking around. I was in a the same bed I woke up before. Next to me there was a note "Dear person that nobody knows, I have go to work. I will be flying to another country, I will be back next week."
I quickly made a dash more the airport. I got there as Giselles plane was taking off, the homeless men greeted. Then suddenly I recognized him, he was Will. "SNAKES ON THE THE PLANE MOTHER FUCKER". What? I thought to my self. Then suddenly Giselles plane blew up. A random shark from out of nowhere ate will
I instantly fell in a depression, Giselle never deliver on the lunch.
Monday, August 13, 2012
The Day
Day of Woden, year 452, 6:32 PM:
Classes are over for me, I walk towards the cafeteria. Dubya and Regan are running down the hall on their horse sticks yellinh "YIPPIE KAYE MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!". Dubya slips while running and slides into sam, sam breaks his horse stick. Dubya stars crying, Regan tries to comfort him. I keep walking.
6:40 PM:
I am at the cafeteria, I see Michelle eating a nice delicious sandwanch. See stops eating and looks at me. "WE YOU STARE AT MICHELLE? ANSWER MICHELLE QUESTION OR MICHELLE CRUSH". I am to scare to do any, Michelle gets up. I take a small shit in my pants, she raise her hand. Barry walks by, calming Michelle. I have a chance to run away and buy something to eat.
6:47 PM:
I meat up with Karl outside. He had a pizza, we talk about how to go on about tomorrow. Karl tells me that Robert will be joining us. Rick runs by us, yelling 'PARTY AT MITTS, YOU TWO LOSERS AREN'T INVITED". Ass hole, I thought o myself. I say to Karl "tomorrow is going to be interesting, I have some things to take care of, I'll see you later".
7:07 PM:
I make my way toward the library. From outside I could see Dace studying his ass of, he was twitching from the lack of sleep, poor dude. I made my way toward the entrace, Dick was walking out the doors. He gave me the meanest look you could imagine, I stopped and looked at him. He raised his hand and gave me the bird "FUCK YOU COON" came out of his dried up mouth. I walk around him but he manage to hit me with his cane. Walking with a limb I acciendently bumped into Adolf. He apologied, I looked at him with a confused face. Again Adolf apologized for confusing me. I was lost, I thought those words to my self but they ended up coming out of my mouth. Adolf pulled out a map, "Adolf, you're an idiot. Get out of my way."
he apologiezed.
7:30 PM:
After Half an hour of looking a book I find myself with a need to pee. I go to the bathroom, I see Rick and Mitt coming out of the bathroom both are sweeting guees they where wrestling. They tell me come to the party and will kill you. I walk in and see Gleen beat up and brused, you must of wrestlet Rick and Mith and lost, I peed on him. I am an evil basterd.
7:53 PM:
I find the book I was looking for, a medical book that the triangle of death has been looking for. I take it and proceded to the check out counter, I take out my library card, but I can't find my wallet. I was in any of bags. I panicked, then I saw him Albert the basterd stole my wallet. I could do any thing, I have no proof, he had stolen the security cameras the week before.
8:10 PM:
I make my way back to my room. Some shit still in my pants, I turn on some music, I started slowy and sexly taking off my clothes. I danced a little, my pecks and abs where hard. I was naked I threw my clothes in the thrash and burn that fucker. I got into the shower and put it on hot, I grab some rubbing alcohol, disinfectant and some bleach and poured in all over my body.
9:35 PM:
I finish my shower, put on some clothes for tomorrow and go to sleep.
10:07 PM:
I wake up, I can't sleep. I go out for a walk.
10:12 PM:
I arrive at the party, I was outside looking throw the window. Almost every one is there, Mitt, Rick, dudya and reagean where doing shots together. While drinking Mitt was talking with sam about a joint investment in cancer rearch. Mommar was just arriving with more beer to keep Mitt drunk and hopefully agree. Osama was there talking to the rest of the group. Barry and Carl where on the couch smoking weed totally stoned out of their minds. Adolf was completly blacked out, Dick drew a dick on his face with a permanent market.
Joe was at. Joe was looking at the group, at this feet where a couple of bottles of vodka. Dave was studing the effects of alcohal and parting. Gleen was across the room from everything, dude was scare but no one seemed to notice him. John came in the boor he yelled "BINGO YOU SUNK MY BATTLE SHIP". Dubya yelled out "YATZEE" every one laughed. Sam getting tired from talking to Mitt, Mitt was just going around in circle, sam acciendentlly toke a sip from dubya. The gruop looked in schook. " YOU FUCKING SCUM BAG" screamed at the top of his voice. Osama quicly tried to calm down everything. "SHUT UP ALL OF YOU", said dick. Mommar offer to buy more drinks if the calm down. Joe had a smile on his face. Mommars offer didn't do any thing calm things down. Glenn started dialing his father, every one freaked. The triangle deciced to walk about. The other backing around dick started to confront them, but they ran. Mitt saw me I also ran for it.
11: 35 PM:
I arrive back at my room. The lights are off. I hear something in the dark, I don't know what it is. The next thing I hear is "BAD MOTHER FUCKER". A punch from Will left me out cool, in a deep sleep.
Thorsday 5:17 AM:
I wake up, fealing like a just toke a punch to the face. Then I remember that that was exactly what happened the night before. I look around everything is gone. I still have on my clothets and shoes, however I don't have any underware. I distictly rememeber putting them on.
5:31 AM:
I get a quick breafeast from Mitt's place I use his back as a seat. Joe is still wide awake, he has a few hundred bottles of alchol at his feet.
6:49 AM:
I arive at the lab, Karl is already there working on Astria Porta.
8:57 AM:
We make the final preparations on the Astria Porta and just in time Robert arrives.
9:07 AM:
Minutes away from activating the Astria Porta, Mitt and his little gang bust in. 'WHAT THE FUCK, RACCOON?!! I TOLD TO STAY AWAY FROM MY PARTY!!" Our secret project was no longer secret. Glenn was following close behind, calling his father. We where incredible fucked. If that wasn't bad enough the Triangle of Death showed up want to apologize for the night before. Karl asked "why don't we just invite the whole school?" Adolf showed up to negotiate between Mitts group and the triangle. Dave sodenly showed up to study the social tension between the two groups. I asked if Robert had the self destruct ready, he answered yes but Karl wanted to start up the Astria Porta, we knew that we would get no choice but to start it up. Sam called for truce, dubya to it as a sign of weakness an lunched a punch. Sam had no choice but to fight back. Mitt, Rick, Dick, and Reagan all started fighting Sam, Mommar and Osama. All the while Adolf was trying to stop the fighting. Joe suddenly showed up sick from alcohol poisoning, he was asking for help. Karl gave me good news the Astria Porta was minutes away from being fully operational, I told Robert to get the self destruct ready.
9:11 AM:
Albert shows up in my underwear. Joe starts throwing up. Things are getting out of control. John busting looking for his pills, "I need my hea...I can't fe..ahaham...my ar...". Dubya punches Adolf outside door. The readings on the Astria Porta show that it is going critical is about to blow up. "Hey Robert I guess we don't knew the self destruct any more" I said. He responds "you can never have a big enough explosion". Karl frantically tries to stabilize the energy out put. Out of nowhere Barry and Carl show up asking dudya for some more weed, he said "FUCK YOU I AM HIGH ON COCAINE" he continuous to punch sam out side his face. Barry and Carl take out some LSD and enjoy the fight. The whole time Albert is dancing in my underwear "SHIT, THING IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE!!!" said Karl "START PRAYING TO ODIN". Nobody hears what he just said. Karl, Robert and I hold our breath for our imminent death. There's an unimaginably loud pop. Every one stops what they are doing realizing that we are all dead.
9:15 AM:
It doesn't blow up. "hey good news it stabilized" said Karl "we're still alive". Just then Adolf walks back in. He's in pain, his pants are blood red. Michelle bust the doors open, "I BUST LITTLE MENS BALLS FOR BOUNCING INTO ME AND TRYING APOLOGIES NOW I POP OTHER BALL". Every one laughs even dick laughs.
9:16 AM:
Karl, Robert and I start walking toward the Astria Porta, away from this idiot. Our new future lies just ahead. Will shows up out of the shadows, he yells out "I AM LEGEND" and proceeds to shot the Astria Porta. In a bright flash of light every changes. I don't know if I am alive or dead...
Classes are over for me, I walk towards the cafeteria. Dubya and Regan are running down the hall on their horse sticks yellinh "YIPPIE KAYE MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!". Dubya slips while running and slides into sam, sam breaks his horse stick. Dubya stars crying, Regan tries to comfort him. I keep walking.
6:40 PM:
I am at the cafeteria, I see Michelle eating a nice delicious sandwanch. See stops eating and looks at me. "WE YOU STARE AT MICHELLE? ANSWER MICHELLE QUESTION OR MICHELLE CRUSH". I am to scare to do any, Michelle gets up. I take a small shit in my pants, she raise her hand. Barry walks by, calming Michelle. I have a chance to run away and buy something to eat.
6:47 PM:
I meat up with Karl outside. He had a pizza, we talk about how to go on about tomorrow. Karl tells me that Robert will be joining us. Rick runs by us, yelling 'PARTY AT MITTS, YOU TWO LOSERS AREN'T INVITED". Ass hole, I thought o myself. I say to Karl "tomorrow is going to be interesting, I have some things to take care of, I'll see you later".
7:07 PM:
I make my way toward the library. From outside I could see Dace studying his ass of, he was twitching from the lack of sleep, poor dude. I made my way toward the entrace, Dick was walking out the doors. He gave me the meanest look you could imagine, I stopped and looked at him. He raised his hand and gave me the bird "FUCK YOU COON" came out of his dried up mouth. I walk around him but he manage to hit me with his cane. Walking with a limb I acciendently bumped into Adolf. He apologied, I looked at him with a confused face. Again Adolf apologized for confusing me. I was lost, I thought those words to my self but they ended up coming out of my mouth. Adolf pulled out a map, "Adolf, you're an idiot. Get out of my way."
he apologiezed.
7:30 PM:
After Half an hour of looking a book I find myself with a need to pee. I go to the bathroom, I see Rick and Mitt coming out of the bathroom both are sweeting guees they where wrestling. They tell me come to the party and will kill you. I walk in and see Gleen beat up and brused, you must of wrestlet Rick and Mith and lost, I peed on him. I am an evil basterd.
7:53 PM:
I find the book I was looking for, a medical book that the triangle of death has been looking for. I take it and proceded to the check out counter, I take out my library card, but I can't find my wallet. I was in any of bags. I panicked, then I saw him Albert the basterd stole my wallet. I could do any thing, I have no proof, he had stolen the security cameras the week before.
8:10 PM:
I make my way back to my room. Some shit still in my pants, I turn on some music, I started slowy and sexly taking off my clothes. I danced a little, my pecks and abs where hard. I was naked I threw my clothes in the thrash and burn that fucker. I got into the shower and put it on hot, I grab some rubbing alcohol, disinfectant and some bleach and poured in all over my body.
9:35 PM:
I finish my shower, put on some clothes for tomorrow and go to sleep.
10:07 PM:
I wake up, I can't sleep. I go out for a walk.
10:12 PM:
I arrive at the party, I was outside looking throw the window. Almost every one is there, Mitt, Rick, dudya and reagean where doing shots together. While drinking Mitt was talking with sam about a joint investment in cancer rearch. Mommar was just arriving with more beer to keep Mitt drunk and hopefully agree. Osama was there talking to the rest of the group. Barry and Carl where on the couch smoking weed totally stoned out of their minds. Adolf was completly blacked out, Dick drew a dick on his face with a permanent market.
Joe was at. Joe was looking at the group, at this feet where a couple of bottles of vodka. Dave was studing the effects of alcohal and parting. Gleen was across the room from everything, dude was scare but no one seemed to notice him. John came in the boor he yelled "BINGO YOU SUNK MY BATTLE SHIP". Dubya yelled out "YATZEE" every one laughed. Sam getting tired from talking to Mitt, Mitt was just going around in circle, sam acciendentlly toke a sip from dubya. The gruop looked in schook. " YOU FUCKING SCUM BAG" screamed at the top of his voice. Osama quicly tried to calm down everything. "SHUT UP ALL OF YOU", said dick. Mommar offer to buy more drinks if the calm down. Joe had a smile on his face. Mommars offer didn't do any thing calm things down. Glenn started dialing his father, every one freaked. The triangle deciced to walk about. The other backing around dick started to confront them, but they ran. Mitt saw me I also ran for it.
11: 35 PM:
I arrive back at my room. The lights are off. I hear something in the dark, I don't know what it is. The next thing I hear is "BAD MOTHER FUCKER". A punch from Will left me out cool, in a deep sleep.
Thorsday 5:17 AM:
I wake up, fealing like a just toke a punch to the face. Then I remember that that was exactly what happened the night before. I look around everything is gone. I still have on my clothets and shoes, however I don't have any underware. I distictly rememeber putting them on.
5:31 AM:
I get a quick breafeast from Mitt's place I use his back as a seat. Joe is still wide awake, he has a few hundred bottles of alchol at his feet.
6:49 AM:
I arive at the lab, Karl is already there working on Astria Porta.
8:57 AM:
We make the final preparations on the Astria Porta and just in time Robert arrives.
9:07 AM:
Minutes away from activating the Astria Porta, Mitt and his little gang bust in. 'WHAT THE FUCK, RACCOON?!! I TOLD TO STAY AWAY FROM MY PARTY!!" Our secret project was no longer secret. Glenn was following close behind, calling his father. We where incredible fucked. If that wasn't bad enough the Triangle of Death showed up want to apologize for the night before. Karl asked "why don't we just invite the whole school?" Adolf showed up to negotiate between Mitts group and the triangle. Dave sodenly showed up to study the social tension between the two groups. I asked if Robert had the self destruct ready, he answered yes but Karl wanted to start up the Astria Porta, we knew that we would get no choice but to start it up. Sam called for truce, dubya to it as a sign of weakness an lunched a punch. Sam had no choice but to fight back. Mitt, Rick, Dick, and Reagan all started fighting Sam, Mommar and Osama. All the while Adolf was trying to stop the fighting. Joe suddenly showed up sick from alcohol poisoning, he was asking for help. Karl gave me good news the Astria Porta was minutes away from being fully operational, I told Robert to get the self destruct ready.
9:11 AM:
Albert shows up in my underwear. Joe starts throwing up. Things are getting out of control. John busting looking for his pills, "I need my hea...I can't fe..ahaham...my ar...". Dubya punches Adolf outside door. The readings on the Astria Porta show that it is going critical is about to blow up. "Hey Robert I guess we don't knew the self destruct any more" I said. He responds "you can never have a big enough explosion". Karl frantically tries to stabilize the energy out put. Out of nowhere Barry and Carl show up asking dudya for some more weed, he said "FUCK YOU I AM HIGH ON COCAINE" he continuous to punch sam out side his face. Barry and Carl take out some LSD and enjoy the fight. The whole time Albert is dancing in my underwear "SHIT, THING IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE!!!" said Karl "START PRAYING TO ODIN". Nobody hears what he just said. Karl, Robert and I hold our breath for our imminent death. There's an unimaginably loud pop. Every one stops what they are doing realizing that we are all dead.
9:15 AM:
It doesn't blow up. "hey good news it stabilized" said Karl "we're still alive". Just then Adolf walks back in. He's in pain, his pants are blood red. Michelle bust the doors open, "I BUST LITTLE MENS BALLS FOR BOUNCING INTO ME AND TRYING APOLOGIES NOW I POP OTHER BALL". Every one laughs even dick laughs.
9:16 AM:
Karl, Robert and I start walking toward the Astria Porta, away from this idiot. Our new future lies just ahead. Will shows up out of the shadows, he yells out "I AM LEGEND" and proceeds to shot the Astria Porta. In a bright flash of light every changes. I don't know if I am alive or dead...
Saturday, August 11, 2012
The Origin Story
In the year of 452 in which our lord and savior Odin slayed the last ice giant. It was quiet and peaceful time,Thor chilled with his justice leauge, Loki took a plasma grenade to the face.
Meanwhile at Beck University I and some other losers where going about our studies. I work in a secret lab with Karl Schwarchild, we were resarching trans dimensinal universe travel. We called our little project The Astria Porta, it was to change everything, but then The Day, the day that everything changed. For us, life would for ever change, the lives that we once knew would be gone on that day.
Beck, Glenn Beck to be exact was the son of the dean. Glenn was a freshmen, a 6 year freshmen he was unimaginably dumb. His dad told every to just pretend that Glenn was smart or risk losing our place at the school. Not only was Glenn an idiot he was afraid of just about anything and an amazing liar. Amazing liar in that he was willing to make up anything even when the truth was smack right in his face. I never liked him.
Barack Obama or as most of usually called him Barry. Barry was the class president, dude never did anything, instead he just spent every moment on his life smoking weed with Carl Sagan. Even though Barry managed to make the Deans list every semester he never went to any class, dude was not even register in the school and yet he had the highest GPA of any student ever. I suspected that Barry gave every one a contact high, I avoided him.
Michelle Robinson, Michelle was a raging steroid junkie known to break balls for no reason, that's all I am willing to say about her.
George "dubya" W. Bush. George was...was slow, he spelled "W" as "dubya". And that is what we all called him, he never caught on. Besides being mentally slow he liked to pretend he was a cowboy. He would ride a horse stick around school in a cowboy outfit. Every day he would do this and every time I cried from the laughter. How he manage to become a senior at the school in 3 years I don't know how he managed.
Richard Cheney, Richard was a bitter hate filled person. His nick name was "dick", he got an infection in his urethra.
Adolf Hitler, Adolf up until The Day, was the polar opposite of Dick. Adolf was always helping others, every day he would out of his way to help others. Even when Dick got into Adolfs face he did not get mad, in fact he tried to make Dick happy.
Joseph Stalin, I do not much about him other than he drank and was on a never ending quest to get laid.
Albert Einstein, albert was cheap bastard that cheated on all of his test. He was good at what he did, every one knew what the was up to but no one, not even Odin could get any proof on him. Albert was a master thief that not even the gods could catch him in the act.
Robert Oppenheimer, the only person other that karl and myself to know about the Astria Porta. He was good at math and also like to blow anything and every to Odin. Odin was not happy one bit. Before he was expelled from the school for blowing up Gleen's car, Robert was responsieble for creating the energy source that power the Astria Porta. He called the power source a Zero Point Module, in theory it could draw energy from the vacuum of space. Sadly his trigger finger halt his work on the Astria Porta.
Ronald Reagan, dubya's only friend. I think the only reason that Ronald liked hanging out with dubya was because he was always running around in his own fantasy. Ronald was an acting major, his dream was to one day own a ranch. He was a good actor, this one time he managed to fool Odin into thinking he was Thor even though he was dressed an ice giant.
Karl Schwarzchild, the one other in person working on the Astria Porta. Dude was a mathethical genius, he had worked out some crazy equation that allowed us to, in theory, form a hole to vast point in the universe, reaching other universes was not unthinkable. Karl hated the rest of the school, he was very determined to complete our project.
Will Smith, Will was a person of many talents but he was an intolorent prick. Will toke no shit from no one and gave shit to every one.
Carl Sagan, Barry's stoner friend. Dude was high every single moment of his life. I would write papers explain some small mystery of the universe, it would get no attention. But Carl would steal my papers and pass them as his own, people would actually listen to him and enjoy my ideas coming from him. FUCKING WEED.
Rick Santorum was a mens men. Rick enjoy sports, espacially wrestling, he was not a normal wrestler. During a single match rick was able to pin down his oppent for an hour, the dude was screaming stop it, please stop it, it hurts. When rick finally decided to finish him off, he got up and yell "I LOVE THAT!!". His oppenent was not happy he was crying like the world was about to end. Later that night fealling the shame from losing ricks oppenent killed himself. Rick went on to win more wrestling matches this way. To celebrate his countless vitories rick wore a suit that showed of his body, all other wrestlers where scared shitless.
Mitt Romney was the riches person at the school, he was also a sociopathic liar.
Dave Chappelle not to be confused with Will Smith, Dave was a hard core student. He never laugh he never smiled. He had no time for no one and would pretend to be someone in order to go back to his work.
Saddam "sam" Hussein, was the leader of the triangle of death. Their goal was to one day find a cure for cancer and every single desieas.
Mommar Gaddafi, finalcial backer of the triangle of death. He was filthy rich, he was dedicated to the cause and only the cause, nothing else matter not even his health. At times he would talk about the day they would finnally end all diseases but he would end up rambling for hours.
Osama Bin Laden, public speaker for the triangle of death. Osama was a class A student, his hat contained a solar power stereo spekaer and his beard hid a microphone, he was alwasys ready to speak. One at fundraiser he convinced mitt to donate three-quarters of his money for cancer research. Osama had a habbit of getting on Dicks nerves.
The oldest student at the school was John McCain. John was old, old enough that rumors of him living with the ice giants where taught as fact in history classes.
Myself, a 22 year old gifted mathematical wizard raccoon, it was my final year at Beck University. The Astria Porta was days from being completed, everything I...we knew was soon to change...
Meanwhile at Beck University I and some other losers where going about our studies. I work in a secret lab with Karl Schwarchild, we were resarching trans dimensinal universe travel. We called our little project The Astria Porta, it was to change everything, but then The Day, the day that everything changed. For us, life would for ever change, the lives that we once knew would be gone on that day.
Beck, Glenn Beck to be exact was the son of the dean. Glenn was a freshmen, a 6 year freshmen he was unimaginably dumb. His dad told every to just pretend that Glenn was smart or risk losing our place at the school. Not only was Glenn an idiot he was afraid of just about anything and an amazing liar. Amazing liar in that he was willing to make up anything even when the truth was smack right in his face. I never liked him.
Barack Obama or as most of usually called him Barry. Barry was the class president, dude never did anything, instead he just spent every moment on his life smoking weed with Carl Sagan. Even though Barry managed to make the Deans list every semester he never went to any class, dude was not even register in the school and yet he had the highest GPA of any student ever. I suspected that Barry gave every one a contact high, I avoided him.
Michelle Robinson, Michelle was a raging steroid junkie known to break balls for no reason, that's all I am willing to say about her.
George "dubya" W. Bush. George was...was slow, he spelled "W" as "dubya". And that is what we all called him, he never caught on. Besides being mentally slow he liked to pretend he was a cowboy. He would ride a horse stick around school in a cowboy outfit. Every day he would do this and every time I cried from the laughter. How he manage to become a senior at the school in 3 years I don't know how he managed.
Richard Cheney, Richard was a bitter hate filled person. His nick name was "dick", he got an infection in his urethra.
Adolf Hitler, Adolf up until The Day, was the polar opposite of Dick. Adolf was always helping others, every day he would out of his way to help others. Even when Dick got into Adolfs face he did not get mad, in fact he tried to make Dick happy.
Joseph Stalin, I do not much about him other than he drank and was on a never ending quest to get laid.
Albert Einstein, albert was cheap bastard that cheated on all of his test. He was good at what he did, every one knew what the was up to but no one, not even Odin could get any proof on him. Albert was a master thief that not even the gods could catch him in the act.
Robert Oppenheimer, the only person other that karl and myself to know about the Astria Porta. He was good at math and also like to blow anything and every to Odin. Odin was not happy one bit. Before he was expelled from the school for blowing up Gleen's car, Robert was responsieble for creating the energy source that power the Astria Porta. He called the power source a Zero Point Module, in theory it could draw energy from the vacuum of space. Sadly his trigger finger halt his work on the Astria Porta.
Ronald Reagan, dubya's only friend. I think the only reason that Ronald liked hanging out with dubya was because he was always running around in his own fantasy. Ronald was an acting major, his dream was to one day own a ranch. He was a good actor, this one time he managed to fool Odin into thinking he was Thor even though he was dressed an ice giant.
Karl Schwarzchild, the one other in person working on the Astria Porta. Dude was a mathethical genius, he had worked out some crazy equation that allowed us to, in theory, form a hole to vast point in the universe, reaching other universes was not unthinkable. Karl hated the rest of the school, he was very determined to complete our project.
Will Smith, Will was a person of many talents but he was an intolorent prick. Will toke no shit from no one and gave shit to every one.
Carl Sagan, Barry's stoner friend. Dude was high every single moment of his life. I would write papers explain some small mystery of the universe, it would get no attention. But Carl would steal my papers and pass them as his own, people would actually listen to him and enjoy my ideas coming from him. FUCKING WEED.
Rick Santorum was a mens men. Rick enjoy sports, espacially wrestling, he was not a normal wrestler. During a single match rick was able to pin down his oppent for an hour, the dude was screaming stop it, please stop it, it hurts. When rick finally decided to finish him off, he got up and yell "I LOVE THAT!!". His oppenent was not happy he was crying like the world was about to end. Later that night fealling the shame from losing ricks oppenent killed himself. Rick went on to win more wrestling matches this way. To celebrate his countless vitories rick wore a suit that showed of his body, all other wrestlers where scared shitless.
Mitt Romney was the riches person at the school, he was also a sociopathic liar.
Dave Chappelle not to be confused with Will Smith, Dave was a hard core student. He never laugh he never smiled. He had no time for no one and would pretend to be someone in order to go back to his work.
Saddam "sam" Hussein, was the leader of the triangle of death. Their goal was to one day find a cure for cancer and every single desieas.
Mommar Gaddafi, finalcial backer of the triangle of death. He was filthy rich, he was dedicated to the cause and only the cause, nothing else matter not even his health. At times he would talk about the day they would finnally end all diseases but he would end up rambling for hours.
Osama Bin Laden, public speaker for the triangle of death. Osama was a class A student, his hat contained a solar power stereo spekaer and his beard hid a microphone, he was alwasys ready to speak. One at fundraiser he convinced mitt to donate three-quarters of his money for cancer research. Osama had a habbit of getting on Dicks nerves.
The oldest student at the school was John McCain. John was old, old enough that rumors of him living with the ice giants where taught as fact in history classes.
Myself, a 22 year old gifted mathematical wizard raccoon, it was my final year at Beck University. The Astria Porta was days from being completed, everything I...we knew was soon to change...
Origin Preview II
Michelle Robinson, Michelle was a raging steroid junkie known to break balls for no reason, that's all I am willing to say about her.
Friday, August 10, 2012
Origin Preview
Adolf Hitler, Adolf up until The Day, was the polar opposite of Dick. Adolf was always helping others, every day he would go out of his way to help others. Even when Dick got into Adolfs face he did not get mad, in fact he tried to make Dick happy.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
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