It's going to look something like this:
The fist thing to burn is Sesame Street.
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Romney's 4th Part Great Plan to Restore America
It's going to look something like this:
Thursday, October 25, 2012
The Story of the French Fry
The Potato, a simple humble and yet delicious fruit that has its origins in what is now know as Ireland. But like all things it's true origins are more myth than reality.
It all started in 1702 with the french colonial Ronald McDonald, McDonald was well know in France for being an incredible cook of the highest quality. From the edges of the world hungry patrons would come just to eat his fine food, only to die later of re-feeding syndrome. McDonald wanting to create the grandest dish the world would ever know, one that could survive in the worst environment so that every single person on the Earth could enjoy his delicacy. He found a small island to the west of Britain, the brits call it "West Britain". Of course the brits would have no french men getting closer to them so they told McDonald to fuck off and let them enjoy their queer tea. McDonald in a fit of rage came up the a twist to his new dish.
McDonald's new plan was to create a human/fix plant that would grow its self and fight off the faggaty fag english. His new plant was to be call the Pot-o-people. Overnight McDonald's creation cover the entire island of West Britain. The Queen was outrage and demand that McDonald remove the new creation from their island. McDonald did the french thing and the brits did the british thing, it's a European thing. Eventually McDonald ended up like all french men, chocking on a cock in an all men pride orgy, European thing. McDonald's death brought many things and toke any things like keeping the Pot-o-people under control and preventing them from bring destruction to the world.
The brits feeling like their gay old selves decided to retake their West Britain only to be pushed of the island in a matter of hours. They cried like bitches. It was then that they introduced the Pot-o-people to alcohol and that's when things got out of control.
A division in the Pot-o-people began to grow. There were those that believe that they should dedicate them selves to delivering the best food like McDonald intended. This group started calling them selves the Potatoes, they were small brown or reddish color often quite chubby and delicious. On the other side where the drinkers believing that the alcohol was a gift from the long dead McDonald. They were a hideous pale color, they where so pale that even before birth they where all ready sunburn. Cover in red patches and the reddest hair they called themselves the Irony but in their drunkenness the gingers, called them selves "irish".
For months the most brutal war in Europe raged over who should go on to control the world, it's a European thing. No side mad any advance. Until one day the brits got involved with a book on how to mass cock and eat vast numbers. This was the most brutal part of the war The Potato Famine. Millions of potatoes where being eating daily by the brits, they more than happy to be eating but at the same time the gingers were taking over more and more territory every day. The potatoes wouldn't have any of that ginger stuff, the gingers just brutally killed the potatoes and then left them to no be cook and be eating like McDonald intended. The war showed no signs of stopping.
Then all of a sudden the war came to complete stop. The MOTHER FUCKING UNITE STATES OF AMERICA came and ended the war taking with them the potatoes to AMERICA to be raised the most life barren of all states Idaho. The gingers were promptly exiled to their shitty island never to leave.
Funny enough the the brits never gave a name to one of the most famous dishes of potatoes, Americans called them French fries it pissed of the brits, it's a European thing and AMERICA liked to piss of the Europeans.
It all started in 1702 with the french colonial Ronald McDonald, McDonald was well know in France for being an incredible cook of the highest quality. From the edges of the world hungry patrons would come just to eat his fine food, only to die later of re-feeding syndrome. McDonald wanting to create the grandest dish the world would ever know, one that could survive in the worst environment so that every single person on the Earth could enjoy his delicacy. He found a small island to the west of Britain, the brits call it "West Britain". Of course the brits would have no french men getting closer to them so they told McDonald to fuck off and let them enjoy their queer tea. McDonald in a fit of rage came up the a twist to his new dish.
McDonald's new plan was to create a human/fix plant that would grow its self and fight off the faggaty fag english. His new plant was to be call the Pot-o-people. Overnight McDonald's creation cover the entire island of West Britain. The Queen was outrage and demand that McDonald remove the new creation from their island. McDonald did the french thing and the brits did the british thing, it's a European thing. Eventually McDonald ended up like all french men, chocking on a cock in an all men pride orgy, European thing. McDonald's death brought many things and toke any things like keeping the Pot-o-people under control and preventing them from bring destruction to the world.
The brits feeling like their gay old selves decided to retake their West Britain only to be pushed of the island in a matter of hours. They cried like bitches. It was then that they introduced the Pot-o-people to alcohol and that's when things got out of control.
A division in the Pot-o-people began to grow. There were those that believe that they should dedicate them selves to delivering the best food like McDonald intended. This group started calling them selves the Potatoes, they were small brown or reddish color often quite chubby and delicious. On the other side where the drinkers believing that the alcohol was a gift from the long dead McDonald. They were a hideous pale color, they where so pale that even before birth they where all ready sunburn. Cover in red patches and the reddest hair they called themselves the Irony but in their drunkenness the gingers, called them selves "irish".
For months the most brutal war in Europe raged over who should go on to control the world, it's a European thing. No side mad any advance. Until one day the brits got involved with a book on how to mass cock and eat vast numbers. This was the most brutal part of the war The Potato Famine. Millions of potatoes where being eating daily by the brits, they more than happy to be eating but at the same time the gingers were taking over more and more territory every day. The potatoes wouldn't have any of that ginger stuff, the gingers just brutally killed the potatoes and then left them to no be cook and be eating like McDonald intended. The war showed no signs of stopping.
Then all of a sudden the war came to complete stop. The MOTHER FUCKING UNITE STATES OF AMERICA came and ended the war taking with them the potatoes to AMERICA to be raised the most life barren of all states Idaho. The gingers were promptly exiled to their shitty island never to leave.
Funny enough the the brits never gave a name to one of the most famous dishes of potatoes, Americans called them French fries it pissed of the brits, it's a European thing and AMERICA liked to piss of the Europeans.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
The Story Of Hitlers Other Ball
There I was starving again after Amelie went and got herself blow up by Will. With no Where to turn to I knew I had just one choice, I need to get a job. But where would I, an expert mathematical person be able to get a job in this back ass retard world? Then I saw it my salvation a job opening at a library, an easy enough job for some one of my skill set.
After a numbers of months as a library I found myself in a comfort life, I had a room, a bed, some clothes and plenty of food. Time went by, I almost forgot the whole Amelia getting blow up by Will thing. I wonder if myself and will end up in the same place what then of the others? Where they alive? did they want to steal my stuff? my super awesome life? No, they would I had to make sure they where not alive.
After a few weeks of searching, if you can believe it or not I didn't get fired, I found an article detailing the last days of Karl Swarchild. Karl the other guy that worked with me on the Astria-Porta. He was dead. He was killed by Adolf Hitler in what can only be best descried as something unluckily.
Here is what went down.
Karl appeared out of a blinding light and fell into what was an empty field. He walk for sometime, he eventually came some blood. He thought of nothing maybe just some animal that became something elses lunch. Karl continued to walk and along his path he found more blood. As he walked more blood appeared, he didn't know what to make of it. He walked until he came to a person screaming for their life.
Adolf, who recently had just lost one of his balls to Michel in a fit rage, was know wondering helpless in a place that he had no idea of. stumbling he fell and screamed for helped.
Karl made his way over Adolfs bleeding body, HAHA, he laugh. Adolf cried asking for help. Karl stood his ground. MY BALL, screamed Adolf as his only remaining ball felt a loneliness that no other thing in the universe could feel. Adolf rolling in pain pleaded to Karl to help him, Adolf claimed he knew what went wrong with the Astria-Porta. Karl stood there looking at Adolf, this went on for some time.
Karl who had lost everything he knew decide, what ever I will help you Adolf. Karl then said a quick prayer in respect of Adolf's forgotten ball turned around and walked away. Adolf was left speechless.
Karl walked for some hours until he came upon to small city. People where gather along the streets. There was cheering, a party of sorts. "Maybe I can get some free food", though Karl. Looking around Karl saw train loads of young men boarding trains and leaving for something , "oh well, more food more me". All over the city Karl saw sign for free stuff, not only food but every you could ever imagine. Karl found a neat looking restaurant, feeling really hungry he order everything of the menu. "854.47 papiermark". Karl's only responds was "the sign it was free" to which the waitress responded by saying oh yes that's true. Karl was confused. "You look confused" said the waitress, "you can everything free is you simply sing up for the army". Karl how was new to this place saw all the cheering and all the happy soldiers, and put 1 plus one and figure that they had won have or at the very least they where about to win some war. "Okay where do I sign up?". "Oh just sign here" said the waitress. And before he knew it Karl was in a trench getting shot, shelled and occasionally gassed. "shit".
Months pass and the war that Karl was tricked into joining showed no signs of stopping. One day under a particular heavy assault from the opposing side, Karl finishing up his new refined theory of wormhole travel. "....and done, better put it somewhere safe where it wont be blow to pieces, but where?" at that moment a messenger arrived, " messenger, I need you to take this papers here to the nearest secure location, this are very important papers, if you don't mess up this up you will receive a promotion....private Eisten? is it, don't just stand there get a move on". That private looked familiar, oh well just a coincidence Karl thought to him self.
Hours in the offensive Karl side was taking a serious asskicking. Left and right, soldiers at his sides where dropping like flies. Death was only a matter of minutes. And the one thing Karl never expected was for Adolf to show up out of nowhere. "Mighty fine weather we are having" said Adolf now back in his good mood after recovering. "Shut up Adolf" said Karl "can't you see we the tommies are about to overrun us and you're here talking about the weather?". "I just thought it would make you feel better, did it?" "fuck you Adolf an you one ball". "It is nice that you remember" said Adolf. "REMEMBER THIS YOU PRICK" and just like that Karl blew Adolf remaining ball away whit his gun but at the exact moment that Adolf ball went away Karl was vaporized by an enemy shell.
Adolf was never the same, whether it was his ball being blow off or the fact that a person was just vaporized before his eyes...we will never know.
and back to me, glad that's over, I went out to lunch. In the restaurant that I was eating I heard a radio broadcast about some dude named Adolf. At the moment I thought of nothing I was hungry, then suddenly I realized how it was and that he was still alive. He need to die. "Waitress sign me up for the army". "what?" was her respond. "The thing where I get paid to kill germans", "...oh yes that thing it just down the down" she said, "one more thing can you make this to go?"
After a numbers of months as a library I found myself in a comfort life, I had a room, a bed, some clothes and plenty of food. Time went by, I almost forgot the whole Amelia getting blow up by Will thing. I wonder if myself and will end up in the same place what then of the others? Where they alive? did they want to steal my stuff? my super awesome life? No, they would I had to make sure they where not alive.
After a few weeks of searching, if you can believe it or not I didn't get fired, I found an article detailing the last days of Karl Swarchild. Karl the other guy that worked with me on the Astria-Porta. He was dead. He was killed by Adolf Hitler in what can only be best descried as something unluckily.
Here is what went down.
Karl appeared out of a blinding light and fell into what was an empty field. He walk for sometime, he eventually came some blood. He thought of nothing maybe just some animal that became something elses lunch. Karl continued to walk and along his path he found more blood. As he walked more blood appeared, he didn't know what to make of it. He walked until he came to a person screaming for their life.
Adolf, who recently had just lost one of his balls to Michel in a fit rage, was know wondering helpless in a place that he had no idea of. stumbling he fell and screamed for helped.
Karl made his way over Adolfs bleeding body, HAHA, he laugh. Adolf cried asking for help. Karl stood his ground. MY BALL, screamed Adolf as his only remaining ball felt a loneliness that no other thing in the universe could feel. Adolf rolling in pain pleaded to Karl to help him, Adolf claimed he knew what went wrong with the Astria-Porta. Karl stood there looking at Adolf, this went on for some time.
Karl who had lost everything he knew decide, what ever I will help you Adolf. Karl then said a quick prayer in respect of Adolf's forgotten ball turned around and walked away. Adolf was left speechless.
Karl walked for some hours until he came upon to small city. People where gather along the streets. There was cheering, a party of sorts. "Maybe I can get some free food", though Karl. Looking around Karl saw train loads of young men boarding trains and leaving for something , "oh well, more food more me". All over the city Karl saw sign for free stuff, not only food but every you could ever imagine. Karl found a neat looking restaurant, feeling really hungry he order everything of the menu. "854.47 papiermark". Karl's only responds was "the sign it was free" to which the waitress responded by saying oh yes that's true. Karl was confused. "You look confused" said the waitress, "you can everything free is you simply sing up for the army". Karl how was new to this place saw all the cheering and all the happy soldiers, and put 1 plus one and figure that they had won have or at the very least they where about to win some war. "Okay where do I sign up?". "Oh just sign here" said the waitress. And before he knew it Karl was in a trench getting shot, shelled and occasionally gassed. "shit".
Months pass and the war that Karl was tricked into joining showed no signs of stopping. One day under a particular heavy assault from the opposing side, Karl finishing up his new refined theory of wormhole travel. "....and done, better put it somewhere safe where it wont be blow to pieces, but where?" at that moment a messenger arrived, " messenger, I need you to take this papers here to the nearest secure location, this are very important papers, if you don't mess up this up you will receive a promotion....private Eisten? is it, don't just stand there get a move on". That private looked familiar, oh well just a coincidence Karl thought to him self.
Hours in the offensive Karl side was taking a serious asskicking. Left and right, soldiers at his sides where dropping like flies. Death was only a matter of minutes. And the one thing Karl never expected was for Adolf to show up out of nowhere. "Mighty fine weather we are having" said Adolf now back in his good mood after recovering. "Shut up Adolf" said Karl "can't you see we the tommies are about to overrun us and you're here talking about the weather?". "I just thought it would make you feel better, did it?" "fuck you Adolf an you one ball". "It is nice that you remember" said Adolf. "REMEMBER THIS YOU PRICK" and just like that Karl blew Adolf remaining ball away whit his gun but at the exact moment that Adolf ball went away Karl was vaporized by an enemy shell.
Adolf was never the same, whether it was his ball being blow off or the fact that a person was just vaporized before his eyes...we will never know.
and back to me, glad that's over, I went out to lunch. In the restaurant that I was eating I heard a radio broadcast about some dude named Adolf. At the moment I thought of nothing I was hungry, then suddenly I realized how it was and that he was still alive. He need to die. "Waitress sign me up for the army". "what?" was her respond. "The thing where I get paid to kill germans", "...oh yes that thing it just down the down" she said, "one more thing can you make this to go?"
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Romney's Awesome Cool Part Three Plan For Making An Awesome Profit
Take Amy's word for it when she says that a vote for Romney is vote for more money.
Friday, September 14, 2012
Reason Number Two Why You should Vote for Romney
What has the so called "president of American" Obama done for creating jobs here in gods country? The answer is simple, nothing. Actually Obama has done something but it is more on the exportation of jobs away from America. Obama along with his friends in congress have set up laws that make it illegal to hire new works, laws that prevent companies from paying a fair wage, unnecessary regulations that cost companies millions if not billions of dollars. But unlike Obama Romney has a plan to bring back jobs to America.
Obama's polices regarding hiring works are just inhumane, that's why Romney's plan involves doing away with all labor laws. Capitalism will run just the way our founding fathers intended our country to work. Romney's next step will be to dismantle the Environmental Protection Agency, I mean come on have you ever seen a suicide bomber tree? The Food and Drug Administration, I know what is food and what is not. This brings me a very important question why are drugs involved with food? I will tell you why, the government puts drugs, such as weed in order to control the population and keep them from rising up and overthrowing the so called "President of America".
But do not take my word for it, take the word of a true American that has had to deal with Obama unfair labor laws. Amy Harding a good old American from the heart land of America, Washington. Before Obama assassinated his way into the White House Amy had a small state full of happy productive works working as long as they pleased. Then as soon as Obama so called just laws, Amy's factories shut down, forcing billions of works out of work. Amy had no option but to closed and move what ever factories she could to china or so other backass country I think it was Canada. Amy with her factories over seas could not pay the works any sort of money due to cultural stuff.
Remember coming November, vote for Romney because a vote for Obama equals a vote for no jobs.
Obama's polices regarding hiring works are just inhumane, that's why Romney's plan involves doing away with all labor laws. Capitalism will run just the way our founding fathers intended our country to work. Romney's next step will be to dismantle the Environmental Protection Agency, I mean come on have you ever seen a suicide bomber tree? The Food and Drug Administration, I know what is food and what is not. This brings me a very important question why are drugs involved with food? I will tell you why, the government puts drugs, such as weed in order to control the population and keep them from rising up and overthrowing the so called "President of America".
But do not take my word for it, take the word of a true American that has had to deal with Obama unfair labor laws. Amy Harding a good old American from the heart land of America, Washington. Before Obama assassinated his way into the White House Amy had a small state full of happy productive works working as long as they pleased. Then as soon as Obama so called just laws, Amy's factories shut down, forcing billions of works out of work. Amy had no option but to closed and move what ever factories she could to china or so other backass country I think it was Canada. Amy with her factories over seas could not pay the works any sort of money due to cultural stuff.
Remember coming November, vote for Romney because a vote for Obama equals a vote for no jobs.
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Why Romney Has My Vote
Mitt Romney the Republican nominee and future president of this one great united states. Romneys ideas have been down-played by the mainstream media given Romneys plans a back-hand slap. Romneys ideas wont only change America but will change the world as we know it. To put it simply Romney has a 5 part plan to restore America; first one end all government regulations allow for more freedom, this one leads to number two. The first part of his plan will result in companies seeing how free they can be and will return to America creating the biggest economic and budget surplus since Reagan. The third part is profit. The fourth art is to get rid of all the "thrash" and clean the world. The final part of Romneys plan is to welcome Jesus.
Getting to so more detail into part one of Romney's plan. Every single government agency and law will be repealed. Freedoms will instantly increase 1000%. The pesky 7-day waiting for a gun, gone, second amendment fully restored to its intended glory. Drink a nice refreshing American beer in public, perfectly legal. Beating up fags, legal. Annoying IRS telling you to pay taxes gone, all the money that you make you will keep, 100% of every cent you make you will keep, the government will take nothing. Since the IRS is gone companies will no longer be tax and will return in mass looking to hire the most productive people in the word, God-Fearing-Hard-Working-Red-Blooded American,
Stay tune for parts two to five, the story of Adolfs ball is currently in works.
Getting to so more detail into part one of Romney's plan. Every single government agency and law will be repealed. Freedoms will instantly increase 1000%. The pesky 7-day waiting for a gun, gone, second amendment fully restored to its intended glory. Drink a nice refreshing American beer in public, perfectly legal. Beating up fags, legal. Annoying IRS telling you to pay taxes gone, all the money that you make you will keep, 100% of every cent you make you will keep, the government will take nothing. Since the IRS is gone companies will no longer be tax and will return in mass looking to hire the most productive people in the word, God-Fearing-Hard-Working-Red-Blooded American,
Stay tune for parts two to five, the story of Adolfs ball is currently in works.
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